by Rachel Grant

"Any sign of weakness or vulnerability is unthinkable. If others discover we are weak, they will have power over us and this knowledge will be used against us." ~from Shelter from the Storm

Life can sometimes feel like a battlefield. We become like warriors, constantly striving to guard ourselves from being wounded or hurt. In fact, by definition, being vulnerable means to be capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt! Is it any wonder that we resist vulnerability with such adamant force?!

Many of us have experienced very real moments when our weakness, naivete, lack of control or power were fully used against us. Once we escaped the experience, we became determined to never be used in such a way again. In addition, we lost all sense of safety and security, which needs to be present in order to embrace vulnerability. In an effort to regain a sense of safety and security, we typically abandon vulnerability and instead take up our swords of control. Same song, different day, right?

Our need to control outcomes drives so many of our behaviors. This, however, is where we make the greatest error. Control only provides a false sense of security ‚ an illusion! Whereas, through the openness and sensitivity that vulnerability requires, we develop deeper and stronger connections that can be relied upon and trusted. (continued)

The rest of the aticle can be found in The Ultimate Guide to Dating & Relationship Advice.

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