Change Your Perception Change Your Relationship

by Susan Derry, B.ED., M.S.Psy., R.P.C., C.P.C.

If you have difficulties in your relationship, your perspective may be part of the problem. Consider how you are looking at your relationship and how you are looking at your partner? Your perception of your partner and your relationship affects the reality that you experience.

Thinking and believing that it was impossible to put a man on the moon, would never have resulted in Neil Armstrong standing on the moon. Likewise thinking and believing that your partner is not good enough or that your relationship cannot be happy, does not lead to creating a successful, happy relationship.

Conflict may result from your interpretations of your partner's actions or intentions. You may take things too personally. If your partner is late or preoccupied, you may perceive that s/he doesn't love you, that s/he is selfish, lazy or inconsiderate, or that s/he doesn't care. It is not the circumstances or behavior that hurt you, it is the meaning that you attach to them that causes you pain.

Talmud said, "We do not see the world as it is. We see the world as we are." Everything that we understand and think of as factual has been filtered through our believe system. We are all experts at disregarding information that does not fit with our beliefs.

To begin changing your perception ask yourself: "What else might this mean?" Look for several options; try finding some positive or at least neutral options. Another helpful thing to try is to put yourself into your partner's shoes. Try to see the situation from his/her perspective. (continued)

The rest of the aticle can be found in The Ultimate Guide to Dating & Relationship Advice.

Available at Createspace.